Friday, October 3, 2008
Dear Arianna.
You seriously can never call me your little sister again, you can not call me a good friend, fuck dont even think of referring to me as your friend. You should act like you never even knew me. Please, because thats what im doing to you. I never thought someone, who claimed they cared for me so much, could fuck me over twice, for a guy. I stuck with you through a lot of shit, when everyone hated you and told me to get rid of you, i never did, i stuck up for you. When you had no friends at bethel, i was there kikin it with you, when i had better things to do dam sure. When any guy hurt you or broke your heart, i was right there to help you through it, to call them a dick and help you get over it. When you had no where to go, i let you live at my house. When you had no shoes i let you keep a pair. You are so selfish, you only care about your self, and its a fucking lie when you say i love you jessie, its a fucking lie. Your seriously going to abandon our plans and our friendship over david, fucking david slaughter, what has he done for you? i hope hes fucking amazing, hes gotta be for you to be this fucked up. and when he breaks your heart, or when your life goes to shit AGAIN do not come to me, do not ask me for any fucking favor at all. because thats what you do, when you need something thats when you come to me. youve made me cry twice, and im not every crying over your dumbass again, your not worth it. have a good life dood, i hope you know what your doing choosing david over me.
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first of all jessie, when you called me and jumped to all these ridiculous conclusions i was in a situation where i could not talk to you. if i hadnt been in that situation at that time i would have talked to you, and im sorry that you had to go through hella shit just to find a phone to talk to me and i appreciate that. ive tried explaining this to you and you fucking will not listen. and im sorry that i made you cry, thats the last thing that i want to do to you. ive seen you cry many a time and its horrible and gut wrenching. i hate to see you upset. and its worse when youre upset with me. but im getting frustrated because you keep assuming things and jumping to conclusions without giving me a chance to really talk to you, man. i was in the wrong before you moved when i avoided you and i explained that to you too, but thats not an excuse as to why i acted that way. and its fucking shitty that youre all the way out there and i hope that youre making friends.
id like for you to call me when you get the chance, and i promise that i will talk to you when you call and ill drop whatever im doing. i want to clear things up with you, but you need to be able to listen and REALLY listen. because you always do that listen but not really, you hear what im saying but youre not listenning to the meaning. i do that sometimes too. but serioously jess, if i didnt love you or care about you i wouldnt always be bending this way and that trying to apologize to you when i hurt you or trying to clear up misunderstandings.
even right now, when i complain about all this drama that youre doing, theres people telling me to just drop it and forget it and move on with my life and that youre being stupid and blah blah blah. and what am i doing? im fucking defending you, thats what. do you really think that im lying when i say i love you, jessie? because im not, i care about you deeply. i really do consider you my lil sister even tho youre mad at me right now. i think youre being stupid right now, but i still love you.
so please call me when you get the chance.
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